Monday 8 November 2021

Trauma busting...!

Yesterday I had an interesting day. After months of not wanting to go to a venue Dave plays at due to the owner thinking it had been OK to first ridicule me for drinking water, then several months later, to screen shot one of my posts then publicly ridicule me on social media for being a 'conspiracy idiot' (although I will point out, one issue since became trueπŸ™„) Which combined with a bit of trauma from once feeling so wobbly and falling off a stool there, being pushed as I accidentally wobbled into someone, as well as going there with hydrocephalus and on hearing the music feeling my brain would explode... I had not wanted to step foot in that place.

But today Dave was going to a gig there, and I knew he was knackered (after a manic week and 2 gigs already this weekend) so I wanted to go and support him...

Suddenly  I had the realisation 'What am I doing?' , I don't like bullies and I actively stand up against them (bullying is happening everywhere atm and not many are standing up to the abusive and controlling behaviour) so why the hell am just letting another bully get control over me?

So with that I decided to go...

And you know what. 

I conquered my trauma.
I felt in control.
People who know me were kind and supportive.
I had a laugh.

The bully didn't say a word.
Those who had supported her couldn't even look me in the eye.
But I didn't even care. It doesn't matter if people hate me or like me. 
I'm me.
I have nothing to be ashamed about.
I'd done nothing wrong 
I am sovereign and true to myself.

And the people who care will always be there. πŸ’–

Plus I can listen to my husband playing some amazing songsπŸ₯°   


Thursday 4 March 2021

Medical Cannabis

I posted a link to my blog post  'Scanxiety and Medical Cannabis' on a few other Facebook pages for either brain tumour or traumatic brain injury (TBI) patients last year. I was astonished with the sheer amount of others who openly admitted there that the also used medical cannabis for their brain injury.
Why is it not openly spoken about that cannabis is helping
 brain injury patients?

I actually copied down four A4 pages from just the comments! (excluding any names)

Here are a few of the replies:
"I swear my cannabis has worked wonders for me. I have taken no prescription drugs, only self medicate with smoke. Great for depression, anxiety, pains overall, keeps me on a normal level - but most won't understand a brain injury and just think we are druggies😐"
"Totally agree, I hate taking prescription drugs and not a massive drinker. I’m not ashamed of how it massively helped me. I used a vape version along with more CBD drops for most of before and after my treatment, it helped with my nausea and anxiety! It also helped switch my brain off so I could sleep!"
"I agree! I would recommend the vape pen version!, I’ve tried many edible versions but because they take a few hours to properly get into your system, its hard to judge how much you need, I much prefer my vape pen as its a more instant relief, especially when my anxiety is high or I'm too overwhelmed! I really only micro dose with it as I dont use it to get ‘high’ and I just take 1 or 2 puffs and instantly my head stops being frantic, (A vape also means I can take it out with me and no one is the wiser 🀷🏼)"
"I made sure I spoke with my neuro team quite openly about it and of course they are not at liberty to say to use it but they had no reservations about it!"
"I never used to use it before my ‘terry’ appeared and I made sure I did my research before hand πŸ‘πŸ»πŸ‘πŸ»
If speaking out about using it can help someone else with crippling anxiety and PTSD then its totally worth it! Thank you Jo for talking so openly about it!! πŸ’•πŸ’•"
"I use cannabis regularly and while I have no medical proof to share, I am 4 years living with a GBM4 where my prognosis was originally 15 months. I believe there was a big study in Madrid University on the subject, google that for more info."
"I take the CBD form of cannabis. I take no meds for my brain tumour and I do believe that its helps to keep it stable. No shame to taking it as I do believe or works. Irrespective to other think if you feel it does something for you then do it."
"I agree with this, but I would suggest to start slowly... Think 'micro-dose', until you find your level."
"I take CBD and it has kept my tumour stable since starting to take it."
"I use cannabis for the migraines that no pain med can touch. It usually clears it up fast."
"Yes, it's the cure πŸ’š that and magic mushrooms πŸ™πŸ’ it repaired my brain damage from being unable to work or even hold a conversation to applying as a background extra in a Hollywood movie (and I got the part!😍) I would recommend cannabis in any form to anyone πŸ’š"
"I smoke some every night to get out of pain and to sleep. It is a God given miracle herb."
 "Use it nightly. Have been for past 20yrs."
"THC with CBD helps my severe seizures tremendously. Nothing else works as well."
"I use it twice a day and do pretty well...( Sometimes more). It just depends on what your need is. For some people it does not take much at all. For me I have mental health and pain management issues. But I can tell you I have not had a migraine in two years."
"Cannabis is my primary source of medication, and has been for 11 years."
"Edibles are the ONLY thing that helps me sleep."
"I’m in NY and have my medical card.... life saver for pain and sleep."
"My dad is a massive stroke survivor, he gets his to avoid a seizure. It also helps the awful pain he gets in his “bad” side."
"I use it all day everyday. Helps with the all over body pain and with the anxiety I have every day."
"I have had my medical card since 2014. Best thing to happen."
"I used to drink alcohol a lot before my TBI but since I got hurt I dont drink anymore. My doctor's told me to stay away from booze because its not good for brain injury rehabilitation. I do use cannabis medically. I used to use it to just get hi before my TBI but now I use it instead of taking the pharmaceuticals the doctors were trying to get me hooked on."
"There are two types, Sativa and Indica. Both with vastly different outcomes. Before you invest heavily, you will need to try different varieties that are prescribed to you. My mom needs Indica for her stroke injury and husband needs Sativa for his bike accident coma 35 years ago.  I use CBD pain cream for my bad knees, but I work for the state, so THC is a no-go. I love the CBD!"
"I use cannabis daily. My brain injury caused seizures and I'm still trying to stop the seizures and I'm trying to find the best strain for that."
 "I use high THC-V strains, helps with energy and focus."
"I use both CBD and a THC. I use indica for sleep or during a migraine to help me relax. CBD is a life changer....better than any other pain meds I have ever been given.2
"I use it daily. Helps to ground my flighty brain."
"πŸ™‹πŸΌdaily user here.
Yes! high CBD low THC tinctures. 4 drops under the tongue. Highly recommend for settling/silencing body and mind for a full night's sleep. I especially love the fact that I can have a glass of wine with dinner and not worry about interaction if I find I can't get to sleep. Truthfully, it's a game changer."
"Yes, it's the only thing that makes my headaches go away."
"I have honestly, I find it brilliant for when I get really anxious or have bad symptoms, has to be done in moderation though as it can make me feel worse."
"I’m taking capsules best thing even if it’s for a decent sleep xx"
"I swear by it the THC and CBD oils x"
Planted in a raised bed in Ground

This book Medical Cannabis was also really helpful in reassuring me cannabis was safe to try, and I will look at these other books recommended in their further reading - The Cannabis Encyclopedia and The Cannabis Grow Bible, when I need to find more information on growing.

£30 = enough plants to last all year.

        If you are interested in growing your own... 
        Cannabis seeds are available from Seedsman where 
        you can search under various medical conditions 
        and what type of seeds you want. 
       They need to be brought soon if in the UK as to
        grow outside they need to be planted around April.
If you have ever grown vegetable plants and have a vague knowledge of growing, then planting the seeds in a tray on windowsill and moving outside (covered from slugs) when a few inches tall outside worked fine. I grew mine alongside my tomato plant seedlings!
You then need a tall greenhouse for when they move outside (that you may have to raise up even more as they grow TALL) and either very big plant pots or an area in the ground. I used a raised flower bed, filled with tomato compost on top off the garden soil. (as you can see above) Make sure you only fertilize them with edible plant foods, and keep them covered from slugs until they are about a foot tall, then they are pretty resilient. Just make sure you undo the greenhouse cover when your neighbours aren't around!!
Seedsman have plants both with and without THC (the part that makes you high) and CBD, they also have various conditions are listed under 'medical seeds', you can then chose if you want a low or high THC amount.

I personally stopped using just the THC plant after my nightmare episode I wrote about here. Once I stopped taking it (and I didn't ever take enough to make me feel high, except this one disastrous occasion) I also felt my anxiety reduced (although this could have been as I had my scan etc) so I totally stopped taking any THC plant for months. In February I did try adding a small amount in with my high CBD mix, but did not notice any benefits, in fact when I stopped I felt my anxiety reduce again. So I dont think my body tolerates the THC well.

Last year I ordered these Dinamed CBD plus which grew really well, but this year they were not in stock so I am trying Queen CBD 20:1 which suited many of the reasons I chose to take them including Anxiety, Fibromyalgia, PTSD and Stress. I will see how these grow this year!

I know that growing the plants is illegal in the UK, but my GP knows about it and says she could probably get me a medical cannabis prescription, but personally I'd rather use a plant that I have grown than a pharmaceutical type product any day... I know exactly whats in it and trust a plant more than a drug company. 

I am not taking it to get high, and have a far different reason to how many use it. In my eyes if the legal drug - alcohol - is available to all, so should cannabis. I fully believe if enough people start growing their own for medical reasons we can stop the criminalisation and make it a valid treatment for many. You can also chose to buy a CanCard if you want the extra reassurance.  

If all these brain injury patients above recommend it, then it should be available to all - a years supply for the price of 3 seeds, some compost and a greenhouse. 🌱



Tuesday 9 February 2021

My Letter to the PM, my MP etc...

This is my rather long letter I have written to Mr Johnson, my MP, the NHS CEOs, and local CEOs about Lockdown and the farce we are living in ... basically saying:

"I've had enough - This has got to stop"

If anyone wants to use part of it, please do so, but PLEASE remove all details that relate to me -  re masks, lockdown etc - and add things relevant to you and your family. Plus also you will need to change MP, council CEOs etc. x 


Dear Mr Johnson.

Re: Covid 19 Pandemic Restrictions – Nuremberg Code

I look to you as someone who represents me as Prime Minister, a Public Servant and Member of Parliament in the current Government.

I am writing to you as a genuinely concerned UK British Citizen and for we the People of Great Britain, of the actions that this UK Government has been taking since the announcement of the COVID-19 Pandemic in March 2020.

There is a rapidly growing awareness by the public that lockdowns have little to nothing to do with a virus, but more to do with destroying small businesses and breaking the spirit of the British people by increasing compliance and control and collapsing our once free society into the hands of an unelected power. This is also blatantly evident by the heavily biased and one-sided reporting in the media and heavy-handed tactics now being employed by the police.

We demand Action, as a servant to us.

We demand Honesty, as a servant to us.

We demand an immediate cessation of the Trials of the Experimental Genetic Engineering Injection Programme.

We demand scientific proof of everything that has unfolded over the past year.

We demand immediate cessation of the flawed PCR tests and closing of these testing centres.

We also demand reparation for the damage caused to small businesses and livelihoods as a result of the lockdowns and everything that has gone on including all medical injury, all deaths and all damages which have been created by this Government and all of the official agencies who have gone along with it. Simply ‘Following Orders’ is not an excuse!

We also demand the immediate reinstatement of Doctors, nurses, health staff and scientists who have lost their jobs as a result of their whistleblowing of the true facts or at the very least put in place plans of compensation for such loss.

We also demand that you take questions from and listen to a wider spectrum of opposing expert views of those who are much more qualified than You or I, rather than restrict public voices to only those who quite possibly hold ‘Conflicts of Interest’ and therefore could be hindered in making objective decisions for the good of everyone.

I am holding you personally culpable and liable along with your team of advisors and supporters of the current restrictions and along with any future restrictive and oppressive plans in place as I passionately believe that the actions of this Government are in breach of the Nuremberg Code, as those being enticed to take part in the Experimental Genetic Engineering Programme are not being formally informed of the fact that this is experimental and of the possible risks and side effects, including death. To inform formally and fully, each and every person correctly and answer any of their concerns including ascertaining whether they then consent, should take at least 10 minutes per person. Yet I have been informed the target for the vaccines on the NHS is one every 3 minutes, which cannot give enough time for informed consent.

We demand that no business, be it a health care provider, airline or plumber require or coerce their staff be vaccinated, and the government need to make it known now that this is unacceptable in a free society as its breaching the Nuremberg Code.

We demand the immediate cessation of the current lockdown, any tier system or similar.

We demand the opening of ALL businesses forthwith.

We demand the immediate cessation of the mandatory need to wear masks. (And that any business or person demanding them be liable to pay damages to those being attacked or refused service)

We demand the immediate cessation to social distancing.

We demand the immediate cessation to ‘bubbles’ or rules to limit people we can see.

We demand the cessation of all travel restrictions including the planned hotel isolation on arrival into the UK.

The current actions that this Government has been taking, rather than saving lives, are in fact contributing to increased deaths far more than this virus could ever do, as health treatments and medical operations are put on hold or cancelled, domestic abuse and suicides have and are increasing. Depression, anxiety, and other mental health disorders are at an all-time high. It is time to stop this mantra ‘Stay Home, Save Lives’ as this is actually the opposite of what is happening.

I do believe that I am not alone and speak for several million people who feel that they do not have a voice or do not know how to respond against the decisions that the Government has been making for nearly 11 months.

Many eminent lawyers in the UK, Europe and the USA are already in the process of preparing legal cases considering the charges of Fraud and Genocide amongst others, against not only Governments, but also leading figures in those Governments and official Agencies which may well result in Nuremberg Trials of the 21st Century. I repeat again ‘Following Orders’ is no justification in Law.

The lockdown has severely impacted my family. Only one out of the 3 adults who worked previously have been paid furlough. Those that were self-employed have massively had their income reduced and the various benefit agencies are not helping or supporting us more than our previous tax credits help. (even though our income is drastically reduced) We are unable to keep or get new customers due to the restrictions, nor work in public as we were able to do so previously - so the lockdown is stopping us being able to earn a living. This is extremely concerning for us all and makes things very tough as everything is so uncertain. It is made worse when you are led to believe it will just be for another week/month more.

We have barely been able to go anywhere to ‘unwind’ and with a small house it has basically meant either I, or my adult kids have spent days all but stuck in our bedrooms. This is not acceptable for anyone’s mental or physical health for months on end. I think all of us suffered with anxiety and depression from the lockdown (not from the virus) and at times have felt suicidal.

It has ruined our private life as we are unable to meet with friends and get support, go out to an indoors venue and sit down (we cannot afford to pay for a meal, even when restaurants have been open) – I believe this is also causing us inhuman treatment.

In the summer, my daughter took walks by the river and was actively moved off the riverbank pathway by Police when she was walking alone, hardly helping her find some tranquillity in nature and to get away for a short while.

Pre lockdown I was seeking support from neuropsychology at hospital after having brain surgery, this has been stopped and I have no idea when I will be able to seek further support or even the assessment they offered. I was told by them I probably have PTSD and much of this is massively accentuated due to the world wearing ‘medical’ facemasks – I literally cannot look at people when out now and it has caused me immense distress when I do, which has meant I have not left the house (except for walks outside) for more than a handful of times since March.

I find it extremely hard to go into shops due to everyone asking, ‘where is my mask’ and glaring at me, even though I have an exemption card. I have been physically shaking several times, including after being initially refused an optician’s appointment until I reminded them it was against the law to refuse me treatment if I was exempt from wearing a mask.

This whole lockdown experience has caused me massive amounts of PTSD triggers, anxiety, and depression.

It also took me over 11 weeks to get a hospital appointment after my GP said back in October, I should be seen within 2 weeks. Thankfully, all was ok, but it could have been a quite different story with this complete lack of care if there had been a health issue and an appointment taking this length of time is not acceptable. I also was not allowed to have anyone with me at the appointments, which again makes the experience terrifying and triggering PTSD of when I am alone and fearing bad news.

Even the local outside gym at the park has been chained up for most of lockdown, which has affected my physical health too as I had been using it most days to recover from my surgery and chronic fatigue. I am now once again physically struggling from being unable to use it for most of the year.

Elmbridge Council have emailed me that “Playgrounds are primarily open for use by children who do not have access to private outdoor space, like their own garden” and “UK Government COVID -19 regulations state that exercise is allowed and includes but is not limited to running, cycling, walking. Personal training can continue if participants are from the same household or support bubble. It can also continue if it is one-on-one, although this should only take place in a public outdoor place.”

So please tell me what the difference is between the many people bringing exercise benches and weights ‘outside the gym area’ to using them inside the fence? Surely a simple notice to say to use at a 2m distance would still mean those of us that cannot afford personal trainers, nor have the space to use machines or weights at home can do more than just walk? If children are able to use the playground, why not adults the outside gym?

Please can you give me the studies to show you can contact covid from an outdoors environment with people who are well enough to exercise and are over 2m away from you? Personally, I believe I have more chance of being ill and damaging my health by these facilities not being open or crossing the road to get there.

My home educated son has also had ALL his out of the house activities cancelled as either the venue or group leader’s regulatory body has deemed it not safe. This is affecting both his education and physical health - and is not acceptable.

I also believe that censoring online is against our human rights, we have the free will to say what we believe, and yet most social media platforms are censoring our opinion or shared articles as ‘false news’, even if we are just questioning the narrative (not for inciting hate or violence in any way) this is totally against free speech and the Government should stop social media platforms from allowing this now if we do in fact live in a free society.

The media and government have also done nothing much more than brand us ‘granny killers’ for daring to do anything other than be stuck indoors 24/7, this is an abusive controlling relationship where we get psychologically attacked and encouraged to have Munchausen's by Proxy in saying that we are all ill and able to infect others even when well! (even though asymptomatic spreading has been deemed as VERY RARE by the W.H.O.)

The latest Labour party adverts saying they want everyone vaccinated should also be banned. They have no right to suggest what anyone does with their health, much less for a genetically modified treatment with no long-term safety studies which is still in trial. One that many scientists and doctors are extremely concerned about.

I also do not believe the Pfizer vaccine acts like a more traditional vaccine as it instead targets the DNA and so it should not be advertised as such. Calling it a vaccine is misleading people and so is even more likely they are not able to give ‘informed consent.’

This is also the same for any covid passports or restrictions. No one should be made, or encouraged, to have any treatment or vaccine against their free will for fear of losing their job or getting benefits etc.

The PCR test (that has also been proven useless in court in other countries) should also be stopped being used for asymptomatic people. This is just misleading and scaring the public into the huge rise in ‘cases’ when in fact many could have a more usual coronavirus – eg a cold. We should ONLY be monitoring people ill or dying FROM covid, not those within 28 days of a positive test (who could die of something else). I believe this misleading of figures is against our human rights.

Or surely, by this same logic, anyone who dies within 28 days of a covid vaccine should also be reported as a vaccine death and therefore their family entitled to compensation?

Many people are now terrified by the fear caused by our government. Surely, you should know that fear destroys the immune system as much as any virus can do? That the nocebo effect can kill. How many of our excess deaths (bearing in mind over 30,000 have been proven to have been from lockdown stopping medical treatment) are from terrified people, alone in hospital with no family to support them and told they have ‘a deadly virus’?

We should be encouraging a healthy lifestyle, taking supplements, and cutting back on immunity reducing fast foods, smoking, alcohol, and allowing people to exercise etc. People should be able to decide for themselves whether they want to shield and risk a virus or continue their lives. Only those that are actively sick with an infection to be isolated.

I am also sending similar letters to the The Health Secretary Matt Hancock, Chief Executive of National Health Service Sir Simon Stevens, Chief Operating Officer National Health Service Amanda Pritchard and Medicines and Healthcare Products Regulatory Agency Dr June Raine CBE, as well as my local MP Dominic Raab, Rob Moran the CEO of Elmbridge Borough Council, Joanna Killian CEO of Surrey CC and David Munro the Police and Crime Commissioner for Surrey.

I look forward to your early response.

Yours sincerely,

Jo Barlow


 These are the people I have sent letters, or emails that apply to me:

Boris Johnson
Prime Minister's Office,
10 Downing Street

Matt Hancock
Secretary of State, Department of Health and Social Care
39 Victoria Street

Sir Simon Stevens
Chief Executive - National Health Service
Skipton House
80 London Road
SE61 6LH - FAO Sir Simon Stevens

Amanda Pritchard
Chief Operating Officer - National Health Service
Skipton House
80 London Road
SE61 6LH – FAO Amanda Pritchard

Dr June Raine CBE
Medicines and Healthcare Products Regulatory Agency
10 South Colonnade
Canary Wharf
E14 4PU - FAO June Raine

Dominic Raab
House of Commons,

Rob Moran,
Chief Executive, Elmbridge Borough Council
Civic Centre,
High Street,
Esher, Surrey
KT10 9SD
(There is a ‘formal complaint’ option on contact me form at – FAO Rob Moran)

Joanna Killian
Chief Executive, Surrey CC
County Hall
Penrhyn Road
Kingston upon Thames
KT1 2DN – FAO Joanna Killian

David Munro
Police and Crime Commissioner of Surrey.
PO Box 412