Thursday 27 August 2020

Sanity Amongst Madness

This it what has kept me going the past few months...
in my garden!

Watching Bee's...


...and the spiders eating them.

Appreciating the flowers...

and the sparrow's, and occasionally other birds, on our bird-feeder.


For a garden that, for decades, never had more than a passing pigeon or robin until only a few years ago; finding about 25 sparrows around the bird feeders is amazing. 

When the world outside our house has never been so insane,

 it's been calming to just sit and watch.


From the various bees, wasps, butterflies, dragonflies, damselflies, moths, grasshoppers & spiders to the fluffy fledglings being guided when it was safe to land (normally when our dog wasn't in the garden) and now seeing SO many more birds than ever before. Some even trusting me enough to continue feeding even when I am only a few metres away, one hungry pigeon still feeding whilst my son tipped the bird feeder towards him as he couldn't quite reach! 

Anyway... even while this year has been awful in SO many ways, masks everywhere being the final straw, this summer has been lovely in both weather (no planes!) and nature. 🌞


It has been my sanity amongst madness. 💜

© Pictures all copyrighted to Jo Barlow


Saturday 15 August 2020

Masks & Hidden Disability

Masks scare me, yet it seems many in shops are wearing them, some even when walking outside or driving alone in their car... 🙄 

It annoys me for many a reason as I have explained here. 

But it also stresses me massively. I have barely been to the shops since Corona started (and almost every time was a disaster) and not at all until today since masks are supposed to be worn in shops.

I had decided to get a Hidden Disability card several weeks back, after one of my shopping trips that ended in tears. Realising they also had exemption cards to masks, I got one of those as well while there. Once the masks guidelines came into force I was glad I had it, but didn't want to go out and get abuse from people or shop staff as I have seen has happened to others, so I still hadn't gone anywhere... 

I cannot explain when I'm stressed at the best of times and it invariably ends in what looks like me having a good angry swear up, when in fact I am just unable to cope and my brain seems to have forgotten how to say anything other than swearing. 😬😓

Today I wanted to get a card - my son and his girlfriend got engaged 💕 - and I had been stressing as to where to go that would be most likely to accept I am not wearing a mask. I felt so awful that I decided to wait until my husband got home and go with him as I couldn't do it alone... 

Then in the middle of trying to make pancakes for breakfast, my youngest son discovered we'd run out of milk. I was the only person here who could drive and I realised I am going to have to go to the shop... and now!

As I got in the car, I was trying to work out what was stressing me. I know I am exempt from wearing them for many reasons (severe distress being the main one - I cannot even cover my mouth and nose at the same time with a blanket, but I knew it was triggering some kind of PTSD from my brain surgery too 🤔) and while I know my ability to speak easily shuts down when I am stressed I knew all I needed to say is 'I am exempt' and if I needed show my exemption card, and legally they cannot do anything ... so what else was it that was stressing me? (rather than just making me angry as I don't agree with them at all)

Then suddenly I just had a feeling that I wasn't driving the car to the shop, but walking down the corridor in hospital to theatre. To be met by doctors and nurses IN MASKS. Not knowing what would happen next ...😨😰

I still managed to drive to the shop OK, even though my body was pounding loudly, and managed to walk in and even choose a card whilst still being able to think. (I know when I have hit this limit and it feels my 'brain has overloaded' and I need to rest while it reboots!) Thankfully I went to the local shop where my husband has spoken to the owner about not wearing masks and he didn't say a word about it and even called me 'my dear' or something else deemed polite. 

I was still shaking though, and I couldn't look at him as he had a more surgical looking mask on. I cannot look at them without fear... and now I understood why.

I drove home with milk and a card. 😊 Sat down for a minute then decided I needed to take the dog for a walk to burn off the excess adrenaline. I then went in the gym and although was particularly useless (as stressed) it felt I had calmed my nervous system down a bit. 

After, I then sat on my normal tree seat at the park and wondered...


Will this whole farce of masks would actually help people with hidden disabilities be seen in future? 


Has it forced those of us with anxiety or PTSD to let others know? 


Will people realise that someone can have a hidden health issue while looking healthy and 'normal' on the outside? 


 Maybe, just maybe, people will try and understand? 



I don't want to wear a badge round my neck labeling me like a lesser classed citizen - I reminds me of the Yellow Badge labeling Jews (I hate the lanyards schools, offices etc wear too!) but I am happy to have the lanyard on my bag or show it when I need to as a compromise. Or have my wrist band on as its more discreet.

You can also download or print a (rather hidden!) exemption card on the government website here.

And just in case you haven't been told - these are the legal exemptions for most Hidden Disabilities... 


Saturday 8 August 2020

Corona Insanity

These last few months have been tough, beyond brain tumour tough. More like having a repeating nightmare where you every so often think you are awake but the nightmare is still going... But its reality. 

Trapped at home, even going to the post office meaning you have to queue outside for ages (with no seat), everyone else in my family having their income stopped or reduced and stuck at home, unable even to use the outside gym as it was supposedly unsafe... 
While I felt my body physically and mentally deteriorating in part because of this one padlocked gate. My fatigue, anxiety and depression all raising their rather ugly heads again...  😭

I am possibly going to be contraversial to some, and yet I know many others will agree, but I am totally fed up with the people following the insane 'guidelines' without questioning.

You are helping destroy humanity as we know it.

Do you want a New World Order where you need a Covid vaccine certificate to travel abroad or even get medical treatment?  Or not able to access government funding, schooling or support unless you comply? (as already happens in China with social credits.) A barely tested DNA altering fast tracked vaccine where the manufacturers have no responsibility if it kills or maims and you cannot even get compensation from the government  (as you do other vaccines) as its a pandemic 🤔🤐 (don't believe me- its all here

Don't you realise the excess deaths have stopped?  The 'covid flu' killed many of the vulnerable earlier in the year... Not helped by the information that I have seen that care homes and hospitals gave DNR (do not resuscitate) forms to their patients, were told to not treat elderly patients who they suspected were ill with it and many were even sent back from hospitals while ill, only to infect the rest of the care home population 🤬 (I have even heard several stories that they even withheld their normal medication - and we wonder why they died? 🤬😭). 

I won't even go on about how inhumane and unkind it is to ban the elderly from seeing their family, nor how many deaths this alone would cause. I cried reading the story of a local woman unable to see her unable to speak, severely disabled adult daughter ... for weeks! When she was 'allowed' to see her, she had to socially distance herself, even with her and her daughter crying. 🤬 

Would you want to go on, stuck in a room without being able to see those you love? There is a reason married people or those with a good friend network live longer - it's as we are social beings.

And please look again on the info on masks...

Masks have been used as a sign of slavery for centuries...yet one rather hyped up 'virus' and people are voluntarily wearing them. In my eyes wearing them is nothing more that accepting you want to be controlled. 
That is what the dark elite also think too... You are their slave.
Stop wearing them if you or your children don't want to live in a fascist dictatorship.

Plus you cannot spread an illness you don't have, and many medical publications say masks don't work anyway. 
If you don't believe me that Government's etc will actually lie about viruses you NEED to read this book. Fear of the Invisible  
We need people to stand up and say NO to these 'guidelines'. They cannot do anything if we all refuse. Shops won't continue with the 'rules' if they no longer have people shopping there unless they are muzzle free and able to walk in the direction they want! 🤔 
Even if they say they will fine people (how can they if you refuse to give your details) do you really think the police or courts will be able to cope with millions of these cases?

And ... can you honestly tell me that this virus will kill more than stopping all but 100% emergency treatment? 
I have heard of others having even their cancer treatment stopped, routine scans and follow up are gone. (unless you ask as I did here!) 
As I saw when I was in the hospital even a neurosurgery ward was shut! They are normally struggling for bed spaces for those that are having surgery - yet I don't think many neurosurgery operations are cosmetic or routine, so this will undoubtedly destroy lives?! 🤬  
No other clinics or patients were there, it was a ghost town. Even urgent brain tumour patients only getting inferior consultations over the phone.  😔  
Yet, while we were there, even the nurses or porters (unless near a patient) weren't wearing masks or gloves, even when close to each other 🤔 Why would this be if  they were seriously concerned? No wonder they silenced the NHS from talking about it?!

How many lives will even just stopping our healthcare system like this for months cost? Now even accounting that the suicide rate has gone up many times 😭 (& often young healthy people), or how the economy crashing will effect whole families - possibly for decades... You can bet it will be FAR more than corona ever will or would have killed - even with no lockdown or social distancing. 🤐

So, PLEASE, if you haven't already, take a look at other sources of Doctor's, Immunologists and Epidemiologists who are saying there is another side to this story than what we are being told in main stream media. 🤔 These are just some I have seen...

Evidence Not Fear  An Evidence Based Guide including info from many Dr's and medical publications. (primarily alternative info from Dr's about vaccines but also has a lot of info about corona)

Dr Vernon Coleman (whose calming videos have kept me sane)

UK column also has many artciles as well as radio shows to listen to.

J.B Handley blog has many referenced sources

and look up Knut Wittkowski - his YouTube videos have been removed... when censorship happens I personally always feel they are speaking some truth that hurts (after all pedophilia is still online and they don't seem to be able to stop that 🤔🤬) One of his articles is about how Covid would be over by now without lockdown