Wednesday 8 April 2020

A Very Quiet Birthday

Two days ago it was my birthday 🎂 I ended up spending it at home with my family. No surprise there being that the country is on lock-down! 😁

On the surface there was no presents (as no one could get to the shops), no meal out and I couldn't even get a takeaway of food I wanted.

Last Saturday evening also should have been having a birthday gig with my husband and son's band. It is the singer's birthday the day before mine so last year it was a fun event. Nothing pressured, just an enjoyable evening. But this year everything is on stop...

So instead I got a nice home cooked meal and my son making me a really tasty gluten free birthday cake. (Believe me tasty gluten free cake is a task in itself!) Nothing else different from any other day.

Apart from their presence in the present -
which I guess is the best type!! 💜

But then I never much liked my birthday, I hate people fussing over me as they are 'supposed to' rather than they 'want to' (Just to let you know - any other day of the year and I am up for treats!) and I am not the artificial huggy, kissy type. If you get a hug it's as I mean it, and care. We even chose to get married abroad as I didn't want a wedding what feels to me a fake, and expensive, parade.😬 So I guess 'nothing' doesn't upset me too much?! Not much different to lock down being quite like our normal daily lifestyle...

But I did get a birthday spent outside in the garden, with blue sky and no 'plane lines' (even if it wasn't as sunny as the day before.) The loudest noise for most of the day the birds nesting in the bird box in my garden, rather than the constant volume of traffic driving past, the constant line of planes in the sky or the rumble of a transporter dropping off cars to the garage nearby, or people revving engines. I spent much of the day planting seeds and sorting pots for growing veggies in what felt a far better environment than usual.

Plus, as it has rained in the night, when we went for a walk that morning the trees outside had dropped their white pollen, so it was like I had a layer of natures confetti at my doorstep, all down the road and at the park instead. Nature celebrated quietly with me.💜

And... for some reason, I still find the date of my brain surgery, my cranioversary, more of a celebration of still living than my birthday. Maybe as not many have a cranioversary day, or a second chance at life, it's a bit more special?


Saturday 4 April 2020

Comparing Recovery Isolation & Corona

We are now almost 3 weeks into being isolated at home. My husband and I both started feeling ill on 16th March, spent the next day in bed. No it wasn't romantic, we both were feeling full of flu aches, with temperature, headache, nausea, dizziness, fatigue and me constantly coughing.

Two or three days later our two older children then started feeling ill, mainly with headaches, body aches and a temperature, so I had to try and get drinks for everyone, cook dinner etc while really not feeling up to it. I decided then that having a brain tumour was actually an advantage as it meant I was already used to cooking and doing chores when I felt dizzy and fatigued with more than a bit of brain fog! 🤔😬

A few days into our illness, the UK went into lock-down, so we couldn't go out anymore anyway. 
My husband was basically ill in bed, or the last few days dragged into the sun lounger in the garden to get some vitamin D, for 9 days. It took us both about 2 weeks to even start to feel normal again and cook without feeling totally exhausted after, even though we then lost our sense or taste and smell and still felt tired. 

At some point, or two, my husband complained about how slowly he was recovering, how fatigued he still felt, and how slow his brain was working... each time I laughed! I know I shouldn't but I did say to him, "Now do you understand?"

Almost 3 weeks later we are still a bit more fatigued than usual, I'm still coughing but otherwise things are back to 'normal'. Whatever that is now... 🤔

I know I have read someone else talking about there not being much difference being isolated after brain injury to Corona lock-down a couple of weeks ago, but now we have had 3 weeks of only going out twice to get food and I wonder ... 

Is getting over brain surgery any different to this forced isolation? 

The only more negative things now is it takes me ages to get a shopping slot online and it's not even guaranteed I will get one, half the products I want are out of stock, food costs me more money, some of the places I shop from are closed, or only open for short periods, and post is taking ages. I also can't go to visit my parents and the garden centre is closed. I am also missing my weekend escapes of going to my husband's gigs. 

It's also the same in that once again my family have no income. Last time it was as my self employed husband had to look after me, this time as all his work has been cancelled. We are used to living on tax credits. We have dealt with it before, we will do so again 💜 

On the positive side... I only felt ill for a week. I was able to walk the dog again after 9 days not 90. We have been able to tidy garden, plant seeds - all nicely growing me veggies, sort house, finish off building a recording studio for my son, put up shelves and make things and have even ordered paint to update the hallway. I have time to sort out and now need to list the 100s of books I want to sell. We have a pile of items to take to the tip or charity shops once they are open again.

And, most importantly, this time others (even those than have not been ill with Corona) UNDERSTAND how you are feeling. 


Thing is, 
I had already been forced to get used to it. 
Now its almost quite normal ...🤔😬