Monday 8 November 2021

Trauma busting...!

Yesterday I had an interesting day. After months of not wanting to go to a venue Dave plays at due to the owner thinking it had been OK to first ridicule me for drinking water, then several months later, to screen shot one of my posts then publicly ridicule me on social media for being a 'conspiracy idiot' (although I will point out, one issue since became true🙄) Which combined with a bit of trauma from once feeling so wobbly and falling off a stool there, being pushed as I accidentally wobbled into someone, as well as going there with hydrocephalus and on hearing the music feeling my brain would explode... I had not wanted to step foot in that place.

But today Dave was going to a gig there, and I knew he was knackered (after a manic week and 2 gigs already this weekend) so I wanted to go and support him...

Suddenly  I had the realisation 'What am I doing?' , I don't like bullies and I actively stand up against them (bullying is happening everywhere atm and not many are standing up to the abusive and controlling behaviour) so why the hell am just letting another bully get control over me?

So with that I decided to go...

And you know what. 

I conquered my trauma.
I felt in control.
People who know me were kind and supportive.
I had a laugh.

The bully didn't say a word.
Those who had supported her couldn't even look me in the eye.
But I didn't even care. It doesn't matter if people hate me or like me. 
I'm me.
I have nothing to be ashamed about.
I'd done nothing wrong 
I am sovereign and true to myself.

And the people who care will always be there. 💖

Plus I can listen to my husband playing some amazing songs🥰