I find this PDF hard to read 😥
... as the time between being
diagnosed with a brain tumour and the weeks of healing after were
TOUGH.
When I could barely move off the sofa, walking into the garden or to the toilet took major effort, I was scared to shower by myself in case I fell and then didn't have the strength to even dry my hair! I felt drunk beyond control 24/7, and was trying to hold myself together and ignore the constant spinning in my world. I couldn't see straight as much as I tried, nor could I look at moving TV or computer screens without awful travel sickness type nausea after just a few minutes, I often couldn't think nor explain myself without it draining so much energy it resorted me to tears... when my husband and family had to do EVERYTHING around the house, basically my kids had to ‘baby sit’ ME, and to top it off -
Dave had to try to keep up with his self employed business! These weeks
were probably tougher than actually having brain surgery! 😢
When I could barely move off the sofa, walking into the garden or to the toilet took major effort, I was scared to shower by myself in case I fell and then didn't have the strength to even dry my hair! I felt drunk beyond control 24/7, and was trying to hold myself together and ignore the constant spinning in my world. I couldn't see straight as much as I tried, nor could I look at moving TV or computer screens without awful travel sickness type nausea after just a few minutes, I often couldn't think nor explain myself without it draining so much energy it resorted me to tears... when my husband and family had to do EVERYTHING around the house, basically my kids had to ‘baby sit’ ME, and to top it off -
We had NO support, advice, help or idea how I would heal or what I should, or could, do.
We were incorrectly advised
that we couldn't claim any PIP, ESA or carers allowance and told that we
could not get any more financial help than Tax Credits. Despite this I
had sent off for some claim forms, but I couldn't see, or think, enough
to fill them in - but as we were told they were pointless anyway, I never did. 😡
During these few months, several of my husband’s clients’ disappeared- along with our income.
So not only did we have the
stress of not knowing what was happening with my health, the fact 3 of
our kids were taking various exams (GCSE, BTEC and Degree levels) and
everyone was under pressure with the extra house chores, and their
attempt at nursing!
We had the extra stress that our income had almost disappeared and we had no way of increasing it, or even knowing if we could pay the bills that month and buy enough food...
Almost 2 years later we are
still struggling... if I do too much I cannot function for a day or two.
Even on a good day I can still struggle with coordinating cooking
dinner and the 'turning in circles' in the kitchen, as I get food and
cook, as it throws my balance off. I still need to rest each day, some
days (if I have been busy the day before) for most of it!
I cannot book things in advance as I don't know if that day I will be just too tired to go. If I get up too early then I feel ill and exhausted for the whole day- I need a good 9 hours sleep, and often manage 10 or
more. When I am tired I just cannot say the correct words, or explain
what I mean, I do things wrong, I drop things, forget things and am
uncoordinated - and sometimes I fall asleep sitting up on the sofa!😢
I cannot book things in advance as I don't know if that day I will be just too tired to go. If I get up too early then I feel ill and exhausted for the whole day-
Yes, maybe I 'could' go to
work, but its pointless as we would just lose the same income in tax
credits. I want to do more self employed work, on my terms that suits my
energy and build up our income that way.
'I' know that I had a 3 cm
lump removed from my brain...but most people say I "look ok now", that I
"look like normal" or “just back to how you were”... so it feels not
many others seemingly know or care that I am not the same.
I don't even have a visible scar on my head. The scar that you could see just after surgery on my neck, now no one can see as it has healed so well, and most of it is under my hair... the hair that is now almost as long as it was before the surgery. No one knows.
My problems are invisible to most.
I don't even have a visible scar on my head. The scar that you could see just after surgery on my neck, now no one can see as it has healed so well, and most of it is under my hair... the hair that is now almost as long as it was before the surgery. No one knows.
My scar is inside my brain...
I wish I had known about this support
back then, and this information is just showing the starting of the
support that needs to change (as highlighted in the PDF booklet), as we
need FAR more than basically being told
“Your tumour is removed, now go home and get on with your life” 🤐
So I decided, I order to help get this support to others, I am going to be helping with fundraising for The Brain Tumour Charity - so if you know anywhere that will have a collection tin- please let me know …
and hopefully others in the future, who are in a similar position that I
was, will find out sooner the help and support they can get and need.
- Please share 💕