Friday, 7 January 2022

Kindness Payback

Today I got a kindness pay back.

I have just had a hospital appointment for hand therapy, for my fingers that have been curling since my brain surgery. The hand where my control of it is getting worse. That no-one else I've seen on NHS has seemed to think was related to my surgery, or damage after it, despite it happening just a few months after. Where they have had no idea of the cause, the nerve conduction tests coming back normal previously.

I had been feeling really stressed after arriving there, each door I passed having signs saying 'face masks mandatory,  no exemptions' ... so after walking past about the 10th sign - as the therapies clinic is at the back of the hospital, I was feeling like going home. But knew I had right to get medical treatment as much as anyone else. I am medically exempt from a face mask and they cannot discriminate. I have my exemption lanyard attached to my handbag.

I walked in awaiting the 'where's your mask?' And got nothing, not even asked to use the, also supposedly mandatory, hand sanitiser (which I can't use as it makes my hands peel), the receptionist not saying a thing. But I still felt like I had been awaiting a battle and it still wasn't over while I was sitting waiting.

I got called and the therapist didn't question me either, nor looked phased. And I was there almost an hour! 

This time both the therapist I saw, and the other therapist sitting next to her, said its clear you have ulnar nerve damage. If you can't easily think of another cause that you might have damaged it, then yes your brain surgery or the trauma to the tissues after, which could include my posture, is the most likely, or only, cause. 🤐 She explained that the nerve tests aren't always correct as I may have been tested on a good day when it was working fine, as well as damage can take a few years to show on nerve tests. 

So I now have a load of exercises to correct what I can, plus a referral back for more nerve tests. As after all as she pointed out, if the wiring is broken no amount of fixing the appliance will make it work! 

I finally had two people who agreed with me on the cause, have some idea on what needs to be done and I had acknowledgment I'm not just making it up or imaging it. Its only been 5.5 years!  😬😁
I walked out feeling a bit exhausted!

Then, I was in the car park trying to pay for my ticket. It was £5. I had it in change, but one £2 coin was rejected first time,  I tried three 50p coins twice, with no luck, was counting 20p pieces and struggling with my hands being able to grip the coins correctly to put in the last 30p... 
When the man at the ticket machine next to me just zapped the card payment on my machine and said 'Don't worry, I've paid it for you, its sorted' ... and walked off, as I just stuttered "Thank you, thank you so much"

And as the ticket returned, along with the money I put in, 

as had he. 💖

I got in the car and just sat and cried for a few minutes. One, from the relief I have on leaving a hospital OK - which I found stressful long before masks were part of them. Two, as I had finally got confirmation what I knew about my hand being triggered from something during or after my surgery. And three... 

 ...that someone I didn't know had just made it so much better, 

just from being kind. 💖

Its reminded me, that when I am physically and mentally able, this is why I talk to everyone or just smile... 😘

And this is why I spend time on my Facebook group for others with the same brain tumour... 
Getting someone's message on being told they can leave hospital 2 days after brain surgery! 💖
"Thank you for all the support over the years and for this page! It's honestly been such a massive help. Especially as we are all told we make our symptoms up. Xx"

Paying forward  the kindness and love that strangers showed me when I was upset in hospital waiting for my op... 

Someone caring can sometimes make ALL the difference 


And sometimes you get it paid back 💞





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