Today was the first time in years, ages before feeling unbalanced or having brain surgery, where I had to sign for a purchase where the signature on my card needed to match. (The card machine hadn’t worked properly so I couldn’t enter my pin number)
The cashier looked at me and said the signatures look different and so took my card and just completed signature to her supervisor to check. When they came back over I showed the supervisor another card and told them I had brain surgery and my coordination loses it sometimes. The supervisor said the other card’s signature looked OK to what I had just signed and left.
I know I still can’t coordinate properly, I guess having a freeze in the middle of signing my name sums this up perfectly, but I also know I am totally grateful I am able to go alone to a store and buy the items I need without any fuss. I actually didn’t feel upset.
I all but wanted to show her my scar and photos and tell her exactly how a wobbly signature was justified and how proud I am. That she didn’t know anything up until I told her.
I keep thinking that maybe I should be upset? The tumour has changed me, yes it’s made me rethink plans I had with art work that I want to do. But it’s not like I made a living out of it, if I have to I will just paint in a more abstract style and accept and abandon the fact that I can no longer copy a detailed drawing well.
Today it seems a small sacrifice.