Since I started using the gym in spring 2017 I have tried to use a balance beam most of the times I go there. After a few months I was able to walk it most times without falling off, so I started testing my balance by looking from side to side and up and down at various speeds and angles while I stand on it - trying not to fall off! (Sorry for the swearing if you have ever seen me there! 😬)
Sometimes I feel I am able to walk along it and turn quite well - as long as I keep looking down at where I am walking! Yet on other days even with looking at my feet, I struggle to walk along it without wobbling. Struggle to turn around, and cannot look up, or to the side, without falling off.
This difference has never seemed to link to anything obvious. Apart from I am not very good if I have just used the gym and my legs are weak!! 😂
The hardest part I find to cope with is that sometimes I am useless for a few days, or even weeks at a time. Then I start to worry if this is the first sign of another problem with my cerebellum... so I get stressed and worried about it, and then inevitably I start to wobble more! 😔
Once I have a few days of improvement then it reassures me that my brain is probably alright and it was one of those things, after all I did have a 3cm tumour removed that was embedded in my brain.
In my cerebellum - the part that controls balance.
Before surgery I could not even put my heel to toe, so I remind myself how amazingly our bodies heal and the fact I can even stand on it at all is something to be proud of.
It's the same when I wear heels when I go out. My favourite boots are not that high, and I normally feel quite balanced in them, yet sometimes I can stagger and wobble as I walk. (Actually make that frequently! 😂)
Yet I accept this issue better. Maybe as it is most often only when I am tired, stressed, or carrying something. But also that when I was a teen I had my toes pinned, the tendons cut and so lost sensation from them. So I have never had great balance in heels since. Needing to wear boots as my ankles are very narrow never helped much either. So wobbling in heels is something I have done for many years! 😬 Although I do wonder how much my balance issues for many years were caused from my head after all?!
Anyway, when I went to Arundel Castle last week I realised that my balance was probably better than many people's. (see my previous blog about the steps!) I just need to be sensible as I know I can wobble if I turn quickly, or look up etc.
I also have had some Bowen Therapy recently (from Alison at www.bowenarrow.co.uk) and I wonder how much that has helped me in the fact it has realigned my body better? I have felt better in general since I went... 😊 I also had some treatment from Alison just after my surgery and I especially felt it helped realign my neck where the muscles had been cut, as well as my body in general. It stopped my neck leaning to the left - even when I felt it was straight,! Plus it also helped with the dizziness and coordination. Maybe it has just helped my body heal again to another level?
So when I have used the balance beam the last few days I have felt better at it. I have managed to stand and turn looking around without falling off. 😊
No doubt I will wobble again and some point soon, but I will remind myself to not stress about it. 😬