Wednesday, 30 January 2019

My brain is still asleep!

This morning I was awoken to the door bell ringing and the dog barking madly. As I could hear someone near the door I assumed it was probably the postman and so half asleep stumbled downstairs to open the door. It wasn’t our postman (who is used to me being half asleep when he knocks with a parcel), it was workmen wanting to work on the streetlamp between our front path and driveway and wanting us to move our car so they didn’t damage it.

I muttered something, which from the look of the guy’s face I don’t think resembled words.  I had to repeat it a few times - saying 'I can’t move the car yet, I’m not awake enough to drive it and you will have to wait at least 10 minutes'. He just stared at me looking incredulous that I wasn’t able to move in there and then, muttered he would fix another light first and would be back soon.

I walked back up to bed, woke up a little more and went downstairs to call Dave – who answered his mobile from his workshop in the garden! He hadn’t heard the dog bark when the guy knocked, but went outside and sorted it out as I went back upstairs again to wait for my head to wake up along with my body…

But for the rest of the day, I kept saying odd things. 

Not being able to find the correct word, or find the plural of a word. Saying sentences that did not make sense. My family even laughed when I said I needed to put water in the windscreen wash on the car to make it ‘un-illegal’ … replying ‘surely that’s just called legal?’ 

Exactly what often seems to happen when I have to get up too fast and my brain doesn’t feel like it’s switched on. The whole day stays confused.

I don’t think most people can even begin to understand..? 

I did manage to go shopping briefly with my daughter in the afternoon, it still feels odd walking around clothes displays or escalators (anything where I need to keep turning in one direction.) I feel like I could easily lose my balance as I feel a bit wobbly. I feel too slow in being able to move out the way of people walking towards me on pathways. The lights feel bright in my eyes. I have to control the feelings that I am not comfortable with and keep going. 

We found some shoes my daughter went in there for and as she was looking at socks I saw some which (although aimed at sports) seemed rather appropriate, they said a mixture of ‘no giving up’ and ‘winner’ on them. So even when it’s just another normal day…  I now have reminders on my feet.


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