Dinner time chaos

 This was my status update on Facebook today:

"So who else with a 'normal' brain while cooking dinner manages to ... 

Chop their finger when cutting veg - so I need a plaster,
Drop a portion of veggies down the side of the cooker,
Drop the spoon in the white sauce,
Spill several of the potato wedges when shaking the tray ,
Drop 2 frozen chicken slices under the fridge (so they have to be binned),
Tip half a saucepan full of washing up water on myself and down the front of the cupboard...
That's it so far - dinner is another 15 mins or so!
Oh and earlier, for lunch, I managed to put a glass bowl with a clip on lid in the fridge, to then open the door and it get caught on a door shelf - so it dropped to the floor breaking the lid and the bottom of the fridge!"

Then added after we had eaten:

"And to top it... I forgot to add cheese to the lasagna!!! 🙄😵 I guess one advantage is it was totally dairy free (I cant tolerate too much dairy and so have almond milk, but normally put some cheese on as a topping!) 

And I wonder why I hate cooking dinner ... 🙄"

Honestly picking up an item and dropping it almost every time is exhausting... knowing I am also wasting food just makes me extra angry, fed up and tearful. I often peel a potato and drop it on the floor, drop the peeler and slice my nail (and sometimes my finger.)

I don't know if it is just tiredness, my hands (which although I have felt they are getting worse since my surgery and my finger is now curling - no one will link it to my surgery. I posted about my hand here), not being able to multitask and so cooking dinner - when I have to think about two or three items at once just overloads me, or what...  

Maybe it's just my hibernating season as it's getting cold and wintery. But it's bloody depressing!

 
I am grateful that I have been able to make dinner (albeit clumsily) for a few days in a row most weeks now and am not exhausted after or feeling wobbly from continuous turning as I cook, get food, bowls etc. But the constant messing up things isn't easy... someone suggested I film myself cooking. Maybe I should? Maybe people would really understand when they see what a struggle it is at times...

My daughter has also got a job locally and telling me what she does, so I was thinking what job could I actually do? 

On days like this I would be a danger to myself and others at many things!  

Not to mention I often cannot speak straight - especially if asked a question, have limited energy, cannot carry or hold things easily, and it takes me ages to do some simple things. 

I guess I am good at big picture, out of the box, thinking and ideas - Maybe someone would want me for that...

 ❓❓❓